Let my start by saying that her running partner did not show up the other night because she was sick. My wife did not want to run alone so she came home, picked up our boys at her mom's, and while there, took a brisk walk around the block at their house. They did do what we call the "big block" but it's still probably less then a mile. Not quite what I would call "Training". When I questioned her on it and dutifully reminded her that the triathlon was a mere days away (11 to be exact), she seem almost unconcerned. Not the type of unconcern that someone has when they train for an event every single day for 6 months and they decide to sleep in an extra hour instead of doing the saturday road ride one month before the actual event. NO, this was the type of unconcern that a person might have if they were just doing the event for the experience, not worried about how they finished, and just happy to be involved, meet new people, and content in the idea that they completed the entire course.
WHAT?!?!?!.... I try to stay calm. I breathe deeply. I repeat my calming mantra, "These pretzels are making me thirsty, these pretzels are making me thirsty."
After I relax, I'm able to analyze the whole situation and start to focus not on what I perceive as the problem (why doesn't she take this seriously...at all), but on my own possible issues. Why can I not "just have fun"? Why is it the competition that makes it fun for me? Even on club rides, the fun is in going faster then the other guy. Trying to drop him or blow him up. Beating someone up the only hill on a road ride. First one to a stop sign. I compete, that's how my brain is wired. Maybe it's second child syndrome, growing up always trying to do better then my sister who is older and naturally got all the "good stuff" that kids find important first. All I know is this: If you put a turd in a bag. Write first place on the bag. Then I'll race you for it!
Is this weird? Am I broken? I think the people that I most hang out with are the same way. That probably just reinforces the bad behavior.
Well they say the first step in problem solving is identifying the problem. Baby steps. I betcha I'm cured first!.....sorry, that slipped out.
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2 comments:
L and I got a kick out of the "I'm cured first!" line . . .
Here's my take . . . there's nothing wrong with you. Realistically, there's very little difference between me and A in our approach to races. In the three that you and I have been on the same team for, you've been pretty good (for the most part) at staying on an even keel. The difference is that I have a 600+ mile buffer from you. If we lived next door and I told you to bug off - I'm sleeping in or watching Bosom Buddies while eating BonBons, you'd have my head.
Yes, you guys have different mentalities - absolutely nothing wrong with that. It doesn't mean you can't still share the activity. You train your way and on the days she's interested in training, take your's down a notch so that you can share it with her. I promise you - 1 day at 50 or 75% isn't going to hurt your training regimen. And she'll (probably) enjoy running/biking/whatever with you . . . assuming you don't adopt a marine drill sergeant attitude.
L and I are the same way. If I'm "training" for a race or something, I'll do it my way except on the days she's up to training herself. Those days are almost "recovery" days for me. Or we'll end up with a small group of varying riders so that I might still be challenged and she'll have someone to ride with.
Here's one way of looking at it . . . you have two options - pull the gunny sergeant "give me 5 clicks and 50 push ups" attitude and while she might do better on race day, she'll be less inclined to do this again. Let her train at her pace, let her do the race at her pace (i.e. for the experience and to finish) and while she may have a tougher time at the race, she'll be more likely to do it again because of the awesome training partner she had.
My point is to not sweat it. The goal is for you to both have a good time. On YOUR training days, ride/run/swim until you can't move anymore. On the days you train with her, just enjoy the time you get with her . . . away from the rug rats.
Oh, as if there isn't enough going on . . . the Acura left me stranded at work last night. Had to call AAA and have it towed to a shop. They can't look at it until Friday. Just gets better and better . . .
I don't know that I would attribute your competition addiction to being born second child. I being FIRST child (I beat ya being born!) oops! Did that slip out?? I being FIRST born (rub that wound with a little salt...) am very competitive as well! Maybe we were born with some crazy mutated competition gene!! hmmm
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